One Step at a Time

As I wrote last week, Travis turned eighteen just before he started his last year of high school. I decided at that time to start the process of looking into adult services and what supports may be available to him.

But at the same time I didn’t want to give up on the possibility of him figuring out a way to obtain some sort of independence and success in maintaining employment. Because being employed is an important part of achieving independence. And it’s also important in giving meaning to one’s life.

And I wanted him to experience a “normal” teenage high school graduate’s life. Being different than his peers has always bothered Travis.

In keeping with my promise to him, I came across another stone to unturn.

During Travis’s last semester of high school he applied for the College Living Experience (CLE) Summer Exploration Program.

Per their pamphlet, “Spend your summer learning the skills necessary to be successful in your transition to life after high school! CLE Summer Exploration provides an introduction into college and vocational options by providing support to young adults with learning differences, in the academic, social and independent living skills needed for college, careers, and beyond.

Since 1989, CLE has been the leading provider of post secondary supports for students who require additional assistance to reach their goals of living an independent adult life. Students travel from all over the world to attend one of our six College Living Experience locations.”

One of their locations is in Denver. How could we not explore this option?

Per their website www.experiencecle.com, “CLE provides transition supports to young adults with Autism Spectrum Disorder, ADHD, and other varying exceptionalities. Our success as the industry leader stems from our commitment to remain focused on the potential of each individual we serve.

The CLE team is dedicated to providing the highest quality of individualized services across the areas of academics, career development, independent living, and social skills. It’s these wrap-around supports that help each student experience independence as they transition to college, pursue a career and build a life away from home”.

Students elect to enroll in CLE while simultaneously attending a higher education school of their choice. CLE Denver has over 1.100 degree and certificate programs within ten miles of the CLE center.

The CLE staff supports students with applying for college acceptance and programs, signing up for courses, learning to navigate the campus, accessing and utilizing accommodations, working with the disability support office and actively communicating with professors.

Once classes start the CLE staff offers academic supports through scheduled tutoring sessions, consistent communication through impromptu coaching related to course content, planning for assignments, note-taking and coping with test anxiety.

Staff also offers support in executive functions that impact learning including time management, organization, planning and prioritizing and coaching in self-advocacy.

CLE students live in an apartment with a roommate that is close to the CLE center and local college programs. In order to become independent, students receive instruction in the areas of financial management, personal hygiene, health and wellness, community access, public transportation, community resources and housing and emergency skills.

There is a resident advisor that helps students learn cooking, cleaning and laundry skills. The advisor and other staff also offer social supports such as establishing social networks, creating meaningful relationships, enhancing conversational skills, respecting boundaries, and perspective taking. Weekly groups are led by a staff psychologist. Examples of topics include stress management and coping skills.

Although there was no doubt that Travis needed all of the above supports, the support that I found the most interesting was their career development supports. Travis was convinced at this time that he was going to work for Microsoft and develop video games. He just simply did not, and still does not today, understand the reality of his situation. And that reaching a career goal most likely would take several steps up the ladder rung. And his career goal would most likely take an advanced degree.

CLE accesses career interests through formal and informal assessments. Students explore workplace environments across various industries through company tours and job shadowing. CLE provides career workshops where students learn skills through interactive lessons, create resumes and cover letters, practice interview and communication skills and develop customer service skills.

In preparation for the workplace CLE works with students to develop fundamental work skills through volunteering, internships and apprenticeships. Students receive job coaching and training support, learn how to advocate needs to supervisors, and develop individualized strategies to help learn new tasks at work.

The supports offered to employees include: obtaining employment in an industry that matches skill level and interests; maintaining employment by engaging in positive work behavior; and displaying work skills.

The supports offered to employers included educating employers on disability awareness and the Americans with Disabilities Act, reasonable accommodations, and tax benefits. CLE supplies job coaching and assisting employees with new tasks, and offers troubleshooting on employee performance concerns.

Travis would need this high level of support if he were to attend college. And the CLE program sounded amazing to us at the time. But this high level of support also comes with a high price tag. The CLE fee did not include the cost of college classes or books, or room and board. If I remember right, by the time we added it all together the cost fell upwards of $50,000 per year. With no guarantee of successfully finishing a certificate program or obtaining any type of degree. At the time we were unsure how we would come up with the funds. Should we put less away for our retirement?

But what if this was the missing piece of the puzzle? The key that unlocked an ability in Travis?

We thought that enrolling Travis in the CLE Summer Program would be a good gauge of whether he was ready to attend the CLE college or certificate program.

The CLE Summer Exploration program was a three week experience in the summer of 2012. Classes were held at the CLE center and the Auraria campus, home to Community College of Denver, Metropolitan State College and University of Colorado at Denver.

The pamphlet mentions that students will build new relationships, with staff facilitating the creation of meaningful and lasting friendships. Per the pamphlet, “Many students achieve social confidence for the first time while they participate in social activities at amusement parks, the Breckenridge Outdoor Education Center, a Colorado Rockies game, outdoor concerts, and a variety of other activities around Denver”.

The students had the opportunity to live in a college dorm suite with a private bedroom and bathroom. But they did share living space with a roommate. Students prepared some of their own food, and did spend some time learning about food preparation from professional cooks at the Emily Griffith Technical School.

Students learned to navigate Denver and use the public transportation system.

The cost of this program? $5,000 for three weeks plus the $75 application fee.

You know what I was thinking. Yes, I was thinking it was a lot of money! But one side effect - three weeks of respite. Or so I thought.

Travis struggled. During the interview process we were honest about Travis’s needs. Travis’s current school counselor also wrote a letter detailing what Travis would need to be successful. We shared that Travis has difficulty with change. That it would take a few days for him to settle into a routine.

They assured us that the concerns we had for Travis were held by the majority of the parents of children attending. That they had the staff to address our concerns. They did have a copy of Travis’s school IEP. So they had access to detailed information regarding his needs with respect to his education and his behaviors.

The first call I received was about Travis’s behavior in the classroom. I shared with the director that Travis will act out in class because he would rather his peers think he refused to do the work and not know that he was unable to do the work. I reminded him to review his IEP for ideas to help Travis through this experience.

The next call I received from the director was regarding Travis’s personal space in his dorm suite. Students are not given permission to leave the dorms or participate in any scheduled activities until laundry and their rooms have been checked by an attending staff and the tasks have been completed in a satisfactory manner. Travis had a meltdown when he was told that he would not be able to attend a function.

I shared with the director that I thought this was supposed to be a college living experience. Did he seriously think that college students made a point to clean their room to the approval of anyone before they participated in their social activities? And besides, if my son was that capable, he wouldn’t need this three week experience.

The next call was something to do with Travis using his cell phone during an unapproved time. The director wanted me to pick Travis up. I pushed back. I reminded him that we agreed to pay $5,000 for a three week experience because we were assured that Travis would be supported by experienced professionals. And that we were honest about his needs and provided his IEP which detailed his behaviors and needs. Did anyone actually review the IEP?

And then I shared that it seemed to me, by approving his application which included an interview of Travis and accepting our payment, that maybe they should try a bit harder to keep up their end of the bargain.

Travis has some good and not so good memories of his experience. He did make it through the three weeks. He did make some long lasting friendships. He has friends from there that he still texts and messages on social media. I did have staff share with me some positive observations. Travis caught on to the public transportation system quickly and helped his peers when they struggled with it. He hovered, making sure that a friend in a wheelchair got where he needed to be.

For those of you that know Travis, you know that he is not timid or afraid to try new things or ask strangers for help. Many of the other students were stronger students in the classroom. But Travis was more street smart. So his peers relied on him in the city. Which made him feel good.

We never had to decide whether we could or should invest $50,000 per year for Travis to earn a certificate or a degree with the help of CLE. They determined that he did not have the emotional maturity to be successful in their regular program at the time. Which sounds like a diplomatic way of saying they were not equipped to deal with his needs.

And Travis’s mental health issues magnifies his needs level.

I do believe that CLE is a great program and making a big difference in the lives of young adults. And giving parents some piece of mind.

Travis would like to attend college someday. He tells everyone that he wants to go to college but we will not allow it. There is a pile of paperwork that I picked up from a local community college. I showed Travis that attending college for a video game design two year degree still requires him to take other classes like English and Math.

The paperwork includes information on taking the Accuplacer test. I told him that it was likely that he would need to take some remedial classes that did not count for credit before starting a degree.

I shared with Travis that we are happy to pay for whatever classes he wants to take. He told me that there are apps to help him. That he can dictate his work and they will type it out. That’s how he texts. And there are apps that he can listen to material rather than read it.

I asked him is there an app that will get you out of bed and motivate you to actually attend class? Lol!

Every time I hear him say that he wants to attend college and we won’t let him, I dig out the pile of paperwork and say, “Let’s study for the Accuplacer.” And pretty much immediately he is off doing something else, once again distracted.

Another thing he says is that he cannot attend college because we spent his college fund buying him a mobile home to live in. He must have overheard me tell someone that we used the money we had saved. Which we did. (And no, it wasn’t enough for CLE!) I kept putting money in a college fund because I was certain we would find the therapy that would help him to become college or trade school bound.

I remind him that we do not need a saved fund to pay for his classes as he takes them. But that college is a rung he will need to climb if his dream is to work for Microsoft. Taking classes, (even if they are remedial), and holding a job, (even if it’s one you don’t love), are the first steps in climbing the ladder. And it’s impossible to work your way up to the top, to your goal, if you never step on the first rung. You cannot finish if you do not start. One step at a time.

Now if we can just get Travis’s chronic depression and anxiety under control. Because it sucks all the energy and motivation right out of him. And it tells him that he is not enough. No matter how much we show and tell him that he is.

“If you’re climbing the ladder of life, you go rung by rung, one step at a time. Don’t look too far up, set your goals high but take one step at a time. Sometimes you don’t think you’re progressing until you step back and see how high you’ve really gone.” - Donny Osmond