Social Distancing

Coronavirus. I have to admit, when I was first hearing about the cases in China, I was not that concerned. That is something that happens somewhere else to someone else.

But then we started hearing about the cases in the United States. And then in Colorado. Tracy was supposed to travel to San Antonio this week for a business trade show. The show got cancelled. Too many people in one location.

Which ended up working out because the company that Tracy works for suspended all business travel. Tracy already works from home when he is not traveling. Typically when he sees a client he will take them out to eat. Not now. Looks like I will be seeing more of my husband over the next couple of weeks.

Social distancing will not be that difficult for us. We live in a community about thirty miles from town where each house sits on a minimum of 35 acres. We have a commercial freezer filled with meat, a well for water. We have a wood stove for heat, a generator if the electricity goes out.

I already buy supplies bulk at a club store because we share those items with Travis. So we are good on toilet paper!

We are pretty self-sufficient. And pretty healthy. And many of our neighbors have become like family to us. We have a network of great people that we know we can count on if we have a need. And they know that they can count on us.

I am retired. I spend a fair amount of time as a CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate) volunteer. Clearing my schedule is not too painful. As a CASA volunteer I represent the voice of kiddos in court. I represent their best interest. Right now it is in my CASA kiddo’s best interest to not see me this week. We usually spend time together in the community. Not a good idea right now.

Corey and Matt are young and healthy. Our grandsons are currently on spring break. Corey is well-equipped to homeschool the boys for as long as necessary.

What is my biggest concern during this time? You got it. My boy.

He falls in the medically fragile population. He has Type II diabetes. Although he is only 26 years old, he has already had pneumonia twice in the last couple of years. And bronchitis a few times. The doctor says he is more susceptible because he is a smoker. So his lungs are likely compromised. Personal hygiene is not a strength. How likely is he to wash his hands after each time he coughs or sneezes?

Travis already has a regular cough. I’m going have to watch closely to see if he gets a fever. Which is a bit harder because we do not live together.

Today I cancelled his outing with his supported employment provider. He is currently working four hours per week with a 1:1 job coach. But that particular job is not a good fit for him. So his supported employment provider is taking him into the community looking for other opportunities and dropping off applications.

I spend Tuesdays with Travis. It is the one day that I have him commit to me. I schedule dentist and doctor appointments on Tuesdays whenever possible. We do his grocery shopping. Pick up his medications. Do banking. Fill his gas tank. Whatever errands he has that he needs support with.

Tomorrow I am planning on grocery shopping for him on my way to his house. To protect him from the possibility of becoming infected. I hope the store has food available. I have read many articles about how people are panic buying, leaving shelves empty for the elderly and individuals with disabilities. People on fixed incomes that can only shop when their money is available.

We provide all of Travis’s meat. But I need to get milk, bread and other staples for him. I am also back to cooking extra for each meal I cook for us, so that we will have leftovers to give him. Travis did have a provider agency that supported him with grocery shopping and cooking. But when the employee that provided that service for Travis moved on from working with the agency, they never rehired the position. I know he prefers our cooking to boxed meals, and it’s healthier for him.

Most times. This week he is getting some leftover biscuits and gravy. What can I say? We were at the cabin this past weekend, which oftentimes equates to some comfort food.

He has therapy on Wednesdays, but they can do that over the phone if necessary.

He works four hours on Thursdays. Making jewelry for a store. I will be writing more about employment stuff in an upcoming blog. There are typically two individuals with disabilities working and two job coaches. We will need to see what happens over the next couple of days to decide if he should continue to work during this time.

The company that helps him with cleaning and laundry texted today. They are considering suspending services and will let me know in the next couple of days. Which means I will need to help him with cleaning. Because if anything, that is more necessary at this time.

I have other concerns. Travis needs his routine. It is hard for him when that is thrown off. He already leans pretty hard on me. Even more so when he is off-center. It is one of the reasons I advocate so hard with different agencies about keeping a regular schedule.

My biggest concern with respect to keeping him from getting Coronavirus?

Social distancing. Even though Travis has great difficulty with social skills, that does not keep him from trying. He is a very social young man. And he has his tribe. He needs them to be around.

How do you explain social distancing to someone that does not understand the concept of personal space. I still have to tell him when he is in my bubble. Now the bubble is supposed to be at least three feet. Some sources say it should be more.

Travis is fine hanging out at home. (His turtle shell.) Until you tell him he should hang out at home. Self-isolate. Then all of a sudden he feels like a caged animal. We learned this a long time ago. When I sent him to his room. And told him do not come out until…

I immediately realized that I made a (parenting a child with autism) mistake. He started screaming and pacing. Like a caged animal. I rephrased, come out and talk to me when you are ready to….

Now I am constantly telling him, why don’t you get out of the house and live your life in 3D? (Because he would rather play a video game where he is snowmobiling than actually snowmobile).

It does his chronic depression good if he gets out of the house.

How do I now tell him how to be safe without instilling fear? I mean just look around. Thousands of people are panic buying. My guess is that most of these people do not have a mental illness. Or an intellectual disability. They are acting out of fear.

If the average person is freaking out, how do I handle this situation with Travis, without freaking him out?

My answer? I will remain calm. Because if I am anything else he will pick up on it. And absorb it.

“If I can punch you in the throat without moving my feet, you’re in my personal space".” - Author Unknown (But seriously sounds like me!)