Know Your Audience

Travis’s meltdowns were scary. He would scream, spit, scratch, hit and kick. We would have to block the doors to keep him from running off and to keep him safe.

I compared him to a tea kettle. Once he blew his steam he would be fine.

One day a woman from CPS (Child Protective Services) stopped by our house. CPS received a call from someone at Travis’s school reporting that he had a bruise.

I don’t know if we caused a bruise from restraining him when he had a meltdown. Or if he had a bruise because he was an active little boy.

I visited with the caseworker and shared our story. I showed her our home, Travis’s room, and my office. With shelves full of books about how to raise your spirited child; children of adoption; right brain, left brain; the explosive child, ADHD, bipolar…..

She never opened a case file. But she did say that she wanted us to attend a restraint training so that we would be sure to do it properly. She said that she would call the school and ask them to host the training. She wanted the school staff to participate in the training as well.

On the training day we were seated in a semi-circle with the trainer in the front. The school district had given the trainer some background information about the behaviors Travis was exhibiting.

Unfortunately, the district had not informed the trainer that the parents were in the audience. I’m sure had he known he would have referred to our child in a more positive manner. Instead of describing Travis as the “problem child”. Again and again.

The trainer picked a teacher from the audience so he could demonstrate proper technique when restraining a student. During the demonstration I noticed the teacher’s wrists getting red.

So (in good Glenda form) I raised my hand. When I had the trainer’s attention I mentioned to him that I noticed the teacher’s wrists turning red. He said yes. I asked him if it was possible to bruise someone during a restraint. He said yes.

In order to make sure I was getting my point across I then said, so even if you are using a proper method of restraint you may leave a bruise. Again he said yes.

I looked around the room and watched the district staff squirming in their chairs.

At the end of the restraint training the trainer was in the front of the room visiting with the district special education director. I went to them and thanked him for the training. And then I introduced myself. As Glenda Kastle. The mother of the “problem child”.

He looked over at the director, and before either could say anything I walked away.

I have a lecture that I have given my kids many times. (Mostly to Travis) It’s called “Know Your Audience”.

I’m thinking that the trainer made sure to know his audience from that point forward.

“The kids who need the most love will ask for it in the most unloving of ways.” —Author Unknown