A Fresh Start

Travis informed us that he had no intention of attending his last year of transition services at our local school district. He did qualify for one more year because he was not yet twenty-one. But he thought it was a waste of his time. As I previously wrote, their plan for services looked good on paper. But we were unsure about the actual follow through.

And Travis’s education journey had been a rocky one. Maybe it was time for a fresh start. But where to begin?

At this point in our story, Travis is twenty years old. We knew that we had to move him to a different county. If you have been following our story you already know that he was placed on the waiting list for services through the State of Colorado developmental disability waiver. Each county has a CCB (Community Center Board) that provides case management for the services provided.

I had worked for a service provider agency for a couple of years, a few years back, and found that a different county than the one where we lived did a great job with their case management. This county also offered more services because it was able to pass a local tax which provided more available money in their budget.

I was told that Travis’s eligibility determination and intake could be performed in any county in the state. And once he was determined to be eligible for services he could be put on the waiting list in that county. With the expectation that he would be living in the appropriate county by the time his name reached the top of the list.

He had currently been on the waiting list for two years. Although we expected the wait to go on for several more years, we decided that this would be a good time to move.

With Travis no longer attending school, I no longer felt a tie to the town where Tracy and I had raised our two children. And I owned and operated two retail businesses. And served on several boards.

I think we all needed a fresh start.

Our plan had always been for Travis to live as independent a life as possible. Which included a place of his own.

I stumbled upon a house for me and Tracy in the foothills. It is a much smaller home than the one we had. We were downsizing because we were becoming empty nesters. But it sits on several acres. In nature. Which has always had a way of filling my bucket.

Tracy and I have two different memories of how this happened. I had been watching this property.

Over the last few years we had looked at houses on acreage, but always decided to stay put. But I was drawn to this area. We would drive by it often, each time we went to our cabin in Wyoming. We had even driven through the subdivision looking around, until a property owner pulled us over and kicked us out. Told us to come back with a realtor when we were ready to buy.

I was in bed on my tablet. I was supposed to be looking for an investment property. I was distracted by looking at homes with some acreage. When I found the listing, I showed it to Tracy. He told me to delete it. In his defense, he had just finished a total remodel of his shop.

But I found myself adding it to my favorites. And looking at it every night. My story is that I asked him if we could just look at it. The listing did not show any pictures of the bathrooms. Maybe I would hate it, and then I could go ahead and delete it.

His story is that I made the appointment and told him we were going to look at it!

It was the perfect day. The deer were out everywhere! He still says that I came out the night before and put salt lick feeders out to attract them.

And I did hate the bathrooms. The entire house needed an update. What I found is that none of that mattered to me when I was outside, standing on the deck. What is it they say in real estate? Location, location, location.

We had an accepted offer the next day. Or maybe it was even the same day? The current owners asked us if we would lease it back to them so that they could find their new home.

Travis and I had been shopping for a mobile home. Tracy and I were buying it, but I wanted Travis’s input. He was the one that would be living there.

Travis needed to be in town. Close to his service providers including his case manager at Foothills Gateway, our local CCB. His psychiatrist and his therapist. And because he is extremely social. And he needed good wi-fi.

We found it. He calls it his turtle shell.

We placed our house on the market. It sold within two hours of being placed on MLS (Multiple Listing Service). We had not counted on it selling that fast. It ended up working out. We moved into the mobile home with Travis for about five or six weeks. This enabled us to help him with the transition of moving to his own place. We were able to furnish it with the extra furniture that we would no longer need. Because we were downsizing.

Unfortunately someone told Travis that we were only downsizing because we did not want him to live with us. That a smaller house meant that we would no longer have room for him.

Which was very hurtful to him. And created a meltdown.

And hurtful to me. Because it came from an unexpected source.

Around this time Travis applied for the Housing Choice Voucher program through Foothills Gateway. The cost of living in Colorado has been increasing steadily over the years. Purchasing a mobile home for Travis to live in was the most economical way for him to be able to live independently. But even so, the lot rent in the park he lives in is well over six hundred dollars per month.

Travis was approved for the housing program and placed on a waiting list. Yep. Another waiting list.

Travis had been approved for SSI (Supplemental Security Income) when he was eighteen. At that time the amount was around seven hundred dollars per month. Not nearly enough to cover his lot rent, utilities, car insurance, gas for his car, clothes and food.

I am a strong believer that no one would choose to live at this level of poverty. I am surprised when I hear people argue that individuals are taking advantage of the system. First, it’s super hard to even qualify for disability. And second, it is simply not enough to live on. Travis is one of the lucky ones. He has a family that will make sure that his needs are being met.

During my training to become a CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate) we had a presentation about the cycle of poverty. It was eye opening for me. Google it. Get involved in your community. I had no idea about the level of poverty in my community. The best resource we can give to our community is our time. I know that many of my readers volunteer their time in many different ways to their communities and specific interests.

Community programs are important. Especially the ones that help kids. I was a free lunch kid at school. I had to stand in line to collect my five tickets for the week. These days with computer systems the program is a bit more discreet.

Some days that free lunch was my only meal for the day. On several occasions I ate dinner with my best friend’s family. Even though they had three kids of their own, they would happily carve out a serving for me. We are still the best of friends even today. Over forty years later. As soon as I was old enough to work I got a job at a restaurant. Because it included a free meal for every shift I worked.

My guidance counselor must have been looking out for me. I was involved in programs through school. I remember participating in an Outward Bound type of program. Maybe that is what helped me develop my love for the outdoors. I was also involved in Junior Achievement. This is a non-profit youth program that works with local businesses, schools and organizations to deliver programs on work readiness, financial literacy and entrepreneurship to students. Maybe that is what helped me become an entrepreneur. Most of my career was as a business owner.

Luckily for me college was more affordable back in the day. I ended up with student loans, but not like kids do today. It took me five years to get my Bachelor of Business Administration degree, but I did it. Keep in mind I was only seventeen when I started college, so I made my fair share of not so great decisions along the way. During that time I worked two jobs to make ends meet. And sold Avon. I would bag a person’s groceries at Albertson’s in the morning, and then see them at the drive through at Wendy’s that night. I also believe that some of my Avon customers only bought make-up from me to keep an eye on me. And help financially!

The programs that I participated in helped me to develop the resolve that I needed. They didn’t give me a hand out. They gave me a hand up. I loved school. And at the high school level it came easy to me. Plus, I was very social. And I had a good guidance counselor.

My goal as a CASA is to make sure that the kids on my cases have a good mentor. And opportunities for programs that they may not know exist. Because it only takes one adult to change the trajectory of a child’s life. To break the cycle of poverty.

Sorry. That was quite the aside.

I guess my point is that individuals may be struggling with issues that we don’t know a thing about. Individuals with a mental disorder struggle. And individuals with disabilities struggle. Oftentimes their parents struggle. Travis is surrounded by individuals that are struggling to get by. His tribe. His neighbors. Travis has a huge heart. He wants to help everyone around him in some way. I love that about him.

It is our duty as his parents and his legal guardians to make sure that his needs are getting met. That he is signed up for the appropriate programs. So that he develops a routine. He has had the same nurse coming by his place once a week for several years. He has been seeing the same psychiatrist through his waiver at Foothills Gateway for several years. He has lived in the same mobile home for several years. And during this time we have done everything in our power to help Travis become employable. So that he can help in some, (even small), way to take care of himself. And lift his self-esteem. Plenty of stories in that regard yet to come!

Why is this so important? To make sure that his needs are met? Because we will not live forever. And we need to know now that he is going to be alright later.

Keep reading to find out more about Travis’s fresh start. Living on his own. With support. Lots of support.

“The greatest power you possess in life is your understanding that life gives you a fresh start any moment you choose.” - Guy Finley