Labeling Our Boy
First grade is when all hell broke loose.
Was it because he had to be in school for a full day? Was the work becoming too challenging?
Honestly at this point we still were not thinking along the lines of a medical diagnosis. We were still thinking that he was having issues at the emotional level.
When the school first approached us about putting Travis on an IEP (Individualized Education Program), we balked. The school wanted our input on various evaluations, but we were concerned with labeling our child.
In September of his first grade year (so very early on) Travis was evaluated by the school psychologist. Her evaluation stated, “In summary, Travis is demonstrating a consistent pattern of significant attentional problems with hyperactivity as well as social problems and oppositional behaviors in all environments.” (Remember our summer project.)
Travis started saying things like “I hate my life”; “I have no friends”; “Nobody likes me”; and “Why can’t I be like other kids”. One day when I picked him up the teacher told me that Travis said that he wanted to die. At age seven.
The teacher referred me to a counselor. I called him that night. After a lengthy phone visit the counselor said that it sounded like Travis may be ADHD, Bipolar or had an attachment disorder.
I shared that I did not want to label my child. He opened my eyes by saying, “Failure, drop out, drug abuse, suicide, ADHD. Which label do you like the best?”
I shared with him that I was concerned that doctors may be overprescribing medications and I did not want to do that with my child. To which he responded, “What if your child could truly benefit from medication? If it meant he could be successful, wouldn’t you want that for him?”
I realized that he may be right and I felt like a terrible parent.
And we were desperate to help him.
We took Travis to see his pediatrician and gave him the results of the evaluations that were performed at the school. He was diagnosed with ADHD and prescribed his first medication.
In December we attended his IEP Eligibility Meeting. The IEP document stated that he was referred for unacceptable behavior in the classroom and low academic achievement.
This began our long journey and ultimate dismay with our IEP experience. I say “our” because my hope is that this process is a more positive experience for others.
In his teacher’s words, “Travis insists on needing help always, and only on his terms. He wants friends but can be very bossy when playing and aggressive when angry. He is disrespectful when he doesn’t get his way.”
No positive spin in those statements.
Here is where I get confused.
Under annual goals the IEP states:
Travis will decrease the inappropriate verbal statements, non-verbal statements and aggressive behavior towards peers as measured by the following objectives:
Travis will decrease his aggressive behavior by 50% in the school environment.
Travis will decrease verbal and non-verbal statements by 50% of the time in the school environment.
The next annual goal states:
Travis will increase his time on task with three directives in a three minute period to one directive in a three minute period of time as measured by the following objectives:
Travis will comply with all redirections such as a non-verbal cue the first time.
When Travis is cued he will remove himself.
Travis will be able to remove himself when he determines he needs time to recover.
Oh. I get it now. If only I had known. All I had to do to get Travis to be less aggressive, less disrespectful and more on task was to write it down in the form of goals and objectives.
No real discussion on how he reaches these goals. No discussion on what may or may not be happening in the classroom to distract him.
The staff was convinced that Travis’s issues were only emotionally based. That he was totally capable of learning if he would just behave.
I was told that he climbed under his desk one day, put his hands over his ears and yelled, “Shut up, shut up, shut up!” They thought he may be hearing voices in his head.
I responded, “Is it possible that he just wants everyone in the classroom to just shut up?” This is a first grade classroom after all.
We already knew that Travis has some extreme sensitivities. Is it possible that what was going on with him was sensory based?
“No I do not plan to do any work today. According to my IEP, I only have to complete work on 3 out of 5 days, with 75% accuracy, in a variety of different settings.” - Author Unknown