Numbers on a Sheet

My blog from a couple of weeks ago, “Room in a School Building” had quite an impact on some of my readers. One reader commented that she just did not understand how a school district would only offer Travis one hour of schooling per day and at our home. Or the means I had to take to get the district to finally find him a room in a school building for his one hour of learning per day.

I felt at the time like our family was being punished. If you have been following our story, you will remember that I walked Travis out of the last out of district placement and refused to bring him back another day. Even after the district told us that we were not allowed to remove him until they held a change of placement IEP.

It did not seem to phase our district that I found him screaming in a locked closet.

So when I asked the special education director to find a room in a school building for Travis because he simply was unable to focus at home, I believe he dragged his feet. What is clear is that he did not make it a priority. And I think he did that because we did not follow his direction in removing Travis from a school placement that simply was not working for him.

And as parents we just did not agree that one hour per day was adequate. But the district told us that was the best they could do until they found another out of district placement.

The same reader was confused as to why Travis was out of district at all. Aren’t all districts required to offer special education programs? Our district did offer special education programs. But neither choice was a good fit for Travis.

Higher functioning special education students were placed in the regular classroom with some accommodations.

Lower functioning special education students were all in one class together, but this situation did not involve much in the way of classroom education. Not a good fit for Travis.

So to recap, Travis attended preschool through second grade in a regular classroom. He was showing behaviors, and we believed that he was suffering with sensory issues, and we believed that he had an undiagnosed learning disability. And we all agreed that he had an emotional disorder. Maybe separation anxiety from being adopted? Maybe mental health issues with a genetic basis?

So when the poop hit the fan in third grade our district did attempt a self-contained classroom. Which is what we believed to be Travis’s best option. Instead of having twenty five students in the classroom, there was only three. So more individualized attention. And more hands on.

But we felt that our district gave up on this idea too quickly. After just a few weeks they had decided that they could no longer meet Travis’s needs.

When a school district does not have an appropriate program in place, they can buy those services from another district.

Travis spent fourteen months at the first out of district placement. There was only a couple of months of the school year left when Travis left there and began his one hour per day with a tutor.

We were only presented with one other option for Travis’s next placement. He could continue to receive one hour of tutoring per day from an individual without any specific training in special education, or he could attend another day treatment program in a school at a residential facility.

So just like the past center that I removed him from, most of the kids lived in the residential facility, but there were a few in day treatment, meaning they came home each night.

And like the last program, it was not located in our town, so Travis needed to be bussed back and forth.

And I know what some of you are thinking. Don’t do it! But we did. Hoping that this center would be better. Because the alternative was one hour a day from a tutor.

And again we argued that this was not an appropriate setting for Travis. Their brochure states, “Today the agency provides many comprehensive treatment programs for children who have experienced abuse, trauma, or other developmental disruptions in their lives, and who are experiencing behavioral, emotional, family, or school problems”.

Like the last setting, most of the other children were foster children, in the system because they had been abused and/or neglected. And if their behaviors were such that a foster family couldn’t handle them, then the children were placed in this residential facility.

And don’t get me wrong, I have a special place in my heart for these kiddos. For those of you that know me personally, you know that I am a CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate) volunteer that works with foster kids.

But Travis was placed in our arms at birth. We know that it is likely he experienced trauma in utero. But he had never been abused or neglected.

And he has trouble focusing in a classroom and had significant sensory processing issues. So it simply did not make sense to us to put him in a classroom full of chaos and behaviors. He had behavior issues of his own, but he witnessed and learned plenty of new bad behaviors.

The very first time I met Travis’s new teacher she asked if they should send home his daily score sheets. Would I like to see them. (Nooooo! Not the dreaded score sheet!)

I shared with her that it was our experience that bringing home a score sheet daily created undue anxiety for him.

And we did not want to focus on the numbers on a sheet. It was not a secret to us that he struggled at school. And while we planned on doing everything in our power to find a way to make school less of a struggle, we wanted to focus on the Travis we experienced at home. He did have his behaviors and meltdowns, but considerably less than at school.

And I told her that he would argue about the score, how it did not reflect how he thought he was doing. And could end up in a meltdown.

She agreed not to send them home, but that she would be sending a note home each day in a notebook, and she wanted us to respond nightly how things went at home. (Same story at last center.)

Frankly, that is how I remember so much from this time in his life. Because I have a daily note of his activities.

And pretty much right away Travis was losing his PE and recess time because he was not focused in class. And as I type this and like in times past, I am literally shaking my head. I wholeheartedly disagree with taking away the only thing he looks forward to at school, and never mind that exercise and activity could actually help his behavior in the classroom.

We shared everything we knew about Travis before he started this new program. That charts and rewards do not work for him. That he does not understand consequences.

And he will tell you with words what is bothering him or that he cannot do a task. And if no one is listening? He will show you with behavior.

Why doesn’t anyone listen when we tell them that Travis not being able to focus is not by choice. That score sheets and charts don’t work because he does not understand the concept of cause and effect.

That is why we shared his experience at the last center. So this placement would not make the same mistakes. Maybe try some new ideas.

Isn’t this the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

Notes home included these statements:

• having difficulty completing independent work.

• didn’t complete work - missed recess.

• missed PE and recess.

• cannot go on field trip due to choices not to follow directions.

• sending all schoolwork home

(Deja vu)!

Notes from home to school:

• ordered hot tub. Water has calming effect on Travis.

• cub scout campout - fishing.

• cub scout sleepover at laser tag from midnight to 6am. So glad Tracy is the leader!

• Travis starts swim team practice tonight.

• Travis swam four events in his first swim meet.

• Travis had Pinewood Derby on Saturday. Disappointed because first time in four years he did not get a trophy.

• Tracy and Travis went ice fishing in Red Feather.

• Travis is crossing over to boy scouts. Earned 16/20 Webelos II pins.

See the difference?

So again we shared at every monthly review meeting that we did not think this was the proper setting for Travis to attend school. And again, our district did not attend these meetings regularly. The couple of times they did send a representative it was a counselor from a different elementary school than the one that Travis had attended. In other words, he had never met Travis. And he never came to this setting to observe him in the classroom. To see if this placement was a good fit.

And we were required to attend family therapy. Even though there was no abuse or neglect in our home, we were required to follow the protocol. We were treated as if we needed the parenting classes and therapy on how to play with our child.

One thing we were grateful for is that this placement told our district that it was necessary to conduct cognitive functioning testing in addition to a psychological assessment in order to provide services that would meet his needs.

We had been asking for cognitive functioning testing for years because we believed that part of Travis’s frustration at school may be because he had a learning disability. Remember that our district told us that he was totally capable of learning if he would just behave.

The intellectual functioning test results (IQ) reported that he fell in the 4th percentile within the “Borderline” range which indicates significant deficits in overall cognitive functioning. His processing speed fell in the 1st percentile, extremely low range. His working memory fell even lower than the 1st percentile, again in the extremely low range.

Long story short. Travis has a significant learning disability.

Parents, if you know something in your heart, or feel it in your gut, do not take no for an answer.

At this point Travis is in the fifth grade. Had the district done the testing when we first asked would it have made a difference? Would they have made different decisions on how to meet his needs in district? Treated him with more compassion? It’s hard to say.

Around this time I ran into a woman I knew at one of Corey’s swim meets. Corey was an awesome diver. This woman was now teaching the ED (Emotional Disability) kiddos in a self contained classroom at the middle school. She saw Travis’s name on the school list as an outpatient. Meaning he was in an out of district placement.

She asked me if this was at my request. I told her quite the contrary. That I had been fighting for over two years to get Travis back in district. I felt strongly that he should attend school where he lived.

She told me that she was going to talk to the special education director about getting Travis placed in her classroom for the next school year. Much to my surprise he said that if his current placement thought he was ready, and she was willing, he would allow it.

At the time I believed that running into her was an answer to my prayers. And the treatment center placement agreed that he should go to his local middle school. He would be in a self contained classroom with kids in his age group. They felt that was important to his social development.

I was hopeful. It couldn’t be any worse than where he spent the last two and a half years. Or could it?

“If we all take the time to reflect, I am sure we can all think of examples where our reaction to a child who is desperately trying to tell us something, caused challenging behavior.” - Author Unknown